there were more penises there than on chat roulette
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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