And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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