i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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