Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
