I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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