i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
