dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize