Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Randomize
