So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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