Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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