WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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