Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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