just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
