Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
