One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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