turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I currently don't understand fingers.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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