and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
