He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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