he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
