Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
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