HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
