btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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