she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
