She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
