I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
and she was petting her beer can
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
