i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
