pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
