you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We just shotgunned beers for America
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
