Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Randomize
