YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
