it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
