Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
