My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
