I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize