It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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