I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
