I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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