I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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