Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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