ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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