the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
