I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
