I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
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We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
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I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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