john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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