There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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