Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
