If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
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