It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
