Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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