I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
