you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
