idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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