Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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