Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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