Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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