I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
