Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Michael Bay diarrhea
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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