Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
