So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
