For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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